Tooth Fairy My Tooth!!

Today my son hit yet another milestone. His first milk tooth fell off! If you are a parent, then you know how exciting and scary it can be. If not, well then don’t feel pressured to relate or give a damn lol! Just enjoy the story.  It’s exciting because the kid is growing and you know all is well in the circle of life. It’s scary because you now have to do 2 things:

1. Learn how to pull teeth out if need be.
2. Come up with a story to the poor traumatized kid about why his tooth fell of, where it will go and when he will get it back!

To the first, you should have seen how scared his dad and I both were when the damn tooth started shaking. It was my husband who noticed it first, (for some reason he is always first in this matters, but I’m not jealous! Haha!) and as days progressed we had several chances to yank out the tiny tooth but did we? Nope. I tried desperately to recall how my dad used to do it (you see, he played the role of dentist, disciplinarian and barber in our home) but I was conflicted. Was it push it in or out? Hubby and I were like 2 clueless teenage parents this morning. Quite laughable actually! I told my husband I would call my dad later in the day and ask him for further instructions but as luck would have it, Jabari pushed the tooth out using his tongue at the back of the car as his dad drove him to school (Thank you Jesus!) I bet it was irritating him. If only he knew how much he saved us from the ordeal of having to deal with breaking his trust as my dad did the first time he yanked off my first tooth. Wah! I remember like it was yesterday. He pretended to just “check” how far along the tooth was.. “Wacha tu nione mami, hata sifanyi kitu”- in the sweetest voice ever. I should have known that was the first sign of trouble... Mimi huyo being trusting nikafungua mdomo. He was still saying something soothing and reassuring to me like “Ah..bado iko mbal….” When I felt a sudden force in my mouth and everything went blank. No silly I didn’t faint…Come on, I AM BLACK. We only faint when we are extremely sick. Or in Church. By blank I mean I can’t remember what happened next because it all happened so fast! Suddenly there was a sharp pain, blood was flowing from my mouth, and my dad’s tone of voice had changed to serious “Shika.” As he handed me my tooth. “Enda osha mdomo. Uko sawa.” Hai? Wait a minute…Hold on old man! What is happening! Where is the sweet voice! And OH MY GOD I AM BLEEDING! What the hell! I started crying. In shock. But the pain could never compare to the betrayal I felt! Now here’s the kicker. I felt for that move. Every. Single. Time. Now you tell me who was the foolish one. Came issue number 2. I had asked my husband what story he was told about the tooth situation and what “traditions” they had in their family. He told me after checking with his mum that he used to put it under his pillow and miraculously receive a dollar in the morning. Ati tooth fairy. (Insert eye roll here) My husband isn’t white, but veery well travelled. So I guess naturally his parents picked up a thing or two along the way. It’s cute yes, buy errr….No. LOL. Tooth fairy can kiss my sweet ass because there is no way I am giving my son money for teeth. Heck. You don’t see me asking for a dollar every time I get my period. So ofcourse I shut that story down. “We will do it my way bruh” I told my husband. My father is a very interesting character. Like a snake charmer. So first he would yank off my tooth, then after I was done wailing sit me on his lap to tell me: “Mum, if I don’t do it, who will eh?” (HOW ABOUT THE DENTIST!?!! But enyewe, we black folk don’t do the whole going to the dentist to remove milk teeth do we?) Anyway. Listen to the rest: “And then your teeth will grow all crooked and I want you to have a beautiful smile. Now keep that tooth. I will show you what we shall do with it later” Later in the evening he told me to carry the tooth and follow him outside. Friends. Remember the scene in Lion King where Mufasa was talking to Simba telling him: “Look Simba, everything the light touches is our Kingdom. A King’s time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. One day Simba, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as the new King”  

I was about to have that exact moment with my father.(If you are here and never watched Lion King origino?! GO WATCH IT!)Dad: “Muthoni, unaona nini paaale?”

Me: “Mwezi baba”

Dad: “And can you see how shiny that moon is?”

Me: “Yeth. Very brighth and thinny” (I’m bila a tooth so go with the flow)

Dad: “My father told me that when your tooth falls off, you throw it in the direction of the moon. The moon catches the tooth as a gift from you and in return he gives you a shiny new tooth back.”

Me: “Waooooo!”

Dad: “Are you ready?”

Me: "Yeth! But, hatuombi kwanza?"

Dad: "Just throw the tooth your mum is waiting inside."

Looool.

And it was done.

No questions asked. No further explanations. I bonded with my dad and always did after that Mufasa moment. Maybe that’s why I acted a fool every single time he yanked my tooth.

Oh but there’s more!So there I was telling my son about his tooth and the moon before heading out for our Mufasa moment. He suddenly stops me to say “But mum that’s not correct! I can’t throw the tooth to the moon! If you throw it, it will just fall down!”  His dad bursts out laughing and says: “He does make a strong argument there babe.”

Lakini huyu mtoto nilimpa Cod Liver oil excess akiwa mtoto ama ni nini?? He is just too bright but I wasn’t about to let him ruin my Mufasa moment! Besides, I had no backup story! No way was I going to use the tooth fairy version! Hai? I somehow was able to convince him that magic was involved and the tooth would get to the moon. It wasn’t easy. But he took the bait. We went outside, he threw his tooth at a black sky-there was no moon and the kid refused to wait till tomorrow, and it was done.

Now all I’m left with are his questions of when the moon will give him a sparkly tooth because you see, he wants it tomorrow so he can show off to his friends at school.

Somebody pray for me. 😂😂

What stories were you told about your teeth? I might need to remix mine.

Yours,

Mwalimu Rachel

-Africa’s Finest💋-